typical village mentality
if you haven't heard by a parent living here by now, israelis are very child-friendly. everywhere you go with a baby or small child, adoring eyes and warm smiles surround it. i've yet to feel like my crying baby or whining preschooler disturbs people around me. no rolling eyes or heavy sighs. often, people (women and men, young and old), will even try to help. if keon is whimpering or crying and i'm having to tend to aliyah, it's not at all uncommon for someone nearby to lean over his stroller and make clicking noises or talk to him soothingly until i finish whatever i'm doing. since i haven't been a mother anywhere else but here, i wonder how common this sort of attention to strangers' children is elsewhere...
once when aliyah was really small... maybe just over one, we were at mcdonald's and she was sitting in my lap looking over my shoulder. i glanced behind me and saw that she was looking at a man, must have been in his sixties, eating an ice-cream cone. she must have watched him eat it from the first lick to the bottom of that cone because she did not budge from my lap for a full 10 minutes. the man knew she was watching him too, because when he finished his cone, he went to the counter, bought another ice-cream cone and brought it to aliyah. just gave it to her, smiled and left.
today i was at a clothing store and the saleswoman helped me find a pair of pants. while i was waiting for a dressing room to free up, keon started fidgeting in his seat and whimpering a bit... after a few minutes of doing this, the saleswoman said, "is he hungry? he looks hungry." i told her, "yeah, he's hungry and tired."
back to waiting for a dressing room... a few minutes later, she comes back to check on him as he's still making tired baby noises. sees me still waiting for a dressing room. looks at me concerned for keon. i assure her, "he's ok. i'm going to feed him as soon as i finish here." back to waiting. as soon as one door opened, and a woman came out to look at the clothes she was trying on, the saleswoman asked me if i'd like to go in her dressing room (while she was out of it looking at herself in the mirror). i kind of hesitated because the woman using the room wasn't finished, but, what i loved was the attitude of both the saleswoman and the customer: of COURSE you should take the dressing room! your baby is hungry!
is it just me or is that really special?
posted by Negeen Mollaian Sobhani @ 11:44 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
That's awesome
Negs! I remember that day in McDonalds so well. I remember us discussing how even though you'd prefer Aliyah not to eat icecream at that time, the love with which it was given actually made it good for her :) That moment had quite an impact on me also. Of course when Shiori was born I also experienced a lot of love from strangers who would give her toys on the sherut if she was whining a little bit. People would also always tell me things like 'why no hat?' 'she is too hot in those clothes' and so on. I loved it because it made me feel like the whole of Haifa was my extended family :) What's interesting to me is that those little toys she was given, like an old tellitubby on the sherut or a plastic 'woody' figurine in steimatski have stayed with her and are among the few toys that she really treasures...it's like she feels the love :)
You see glimpses of this in Australia, but it comes more as a surprise when someone does it here rather than the happy feeling of 'ahhh, love this place' when it happens in Israel.
miss you!!
love meels
negs, what a treasured feeling to see others appreciate the little ones you love more than life itself. i can't imagine the feeling for a number of reasons, but your blog made me feel a tenderness inside. i'm sorry i'm not often on here to see glimpses into your days with your precious ones. but when i do, i feel you nearby.
love you dearly, p
It's great when people are helpful and when the friendliness goes beyond sweet smiles and polite "your children are cute". I felt the HUGE difference when I was flying with the 2 kids (without Micheal) from Azerbaijan to Atlanta. First I had to fly to London and the passengers were Azerbaijani people and I felt at ease because everybody on the plane approached me and said "if you need help with the kids, we are happy to hold your baby", and 1 young guy who sat behind us and was flying alone but had 2 small children himself, read books for Isabella for about an hour! Bella was friendly as always and she herself asked him if he could read her a book which he gladly did. And on the way from London to the US it was a nightmare. Nobody ever offered to help even when I obviously struggled to hold Adib and help Isabella, people only looked away. When I asked a flight attendant if she could hold Adib for a minute, so that I could get my backpack from above my seat, she politely explained that it's illegal, she can not take this responsibility. I wouldn't fly with the kids on my own again.
Much love to all of you, Sevda
Negeen (I hope you remember me, we were in high school Chem together). I loved your post. My friend who we named our daughter after is begging me to go on a pilgrimage to Israel but I have been worried because of my toddler. I can't stand the dirty looks we get here in Chicago when we go into Starbucks (even if I'm getting a to-go coffee people look at me like I have no right being in a store with a well behaved 2-year old). My friend and I even have a bingo game for dirty looks (middle square is someone who obviously has a child although they are past the toddler years).
I found you in facebook. Shoot me an e-mail and tell me how you got from 1993 to now.
Jennifer Lamb (nee Wolfe)
Nice post. It is really interesting. Thanks for sharing the post!
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